Week 2: Emotional Roller Coaster

Hello there my friend. It’s week 2 in my apartment. I’m enjoying every minute of having a place of my own. I feel myself evolving every day. It’s beautiful and scary at the same time.

Okay, let me stop right there. Honestly, I developed writer’s block. It’s because I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster since George Floyd’s death plastered the news last week. George Floyd was kneeled to death by the police in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He’s originally from Fayetteville, NC (where I live)! His last words were “Please I can’t breathe. My stomach hurts. My neck hurts. Everything hurts. They’re going to kill me.” The video of the incident has enraged the nation (especially us Black Americans) so bad, the officer’s arrest was not enough. No I have not seen the video. Frankly, I don’t want to. Unfortunately though, I’ve seen photos. My mind has been racing ever since. It’s hard for me to eat, sleep, and stay focused at work because of all of this. Yes I’m doing all three, but it’s just hard to do these three necessary things.

I have 2 black brothers and I would not be able to contain myself if it were one of them trapped under that officer’s knee. How can someone who was suppose to protect the public do something so disgusting? I would not wish this on my worst enemy!

There’s a wound within me and many others who look like me. A wound that continues to bleed because it’s being left untreated. George Floyd’s death worsened that wound. I have not talked about it because I had no idea how to put this into words. I was also taught to stay strong. But at this point, it’s too much.

The looks on the faces of my fellow brothers and sisters are looks of dread. They’re harboring so much pain like I am. With police brutality and COVID 19 plaguing our community, we are trapped.

Literally, we are trapped.

Due to feeling trapped, many of my brothers and sisters resorted to protests that involves looting. Protesting is awesome to me. I don’t agree with looting. It won’t bring back George or the countless others we’ve lost.

Then again, the looting is the result of our internal wounds being left untreated. After years of being untreated, they imploded! I know because mine has done the same.

To give myself comfort, I have decided to include pictures of those who have lost their lives due to police brutality.

Breonna Taylor: killed by the Louisville Metro Police on March 13, 2020
Tamir Rice: a 12 year old boy killed by the Cleveland Police on November 24, 2014
Philando Castile: killed by the Ann Arbor Police on July 6, 2016
Stephon Clark: killed by the Sacramento Police on March 18, 2018
Antwon Rose II: killed by the East Pittsburgh Police on June 19, 2018
Eric Garner: killed by the NYPD on July 17, 2014
Michael Brown: killed by the Ferguson Police on August 9, 2014
Freddie Carlos Gray: killed by the Baltimore Police on April 12, 2015
Alton Sterling: killed by the Baton Rouge Police on July 5, 2016

I gotta jet. I’m going to try my best to get some sleep. Good night!

3 thoughts on “Week 2: Emotional Roller Coaster

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