There are auties, like my twin sister, who can only speak 3-5 words at a time. There are those who do not speak at all and struggle with comprehension. Lastly, there are those who run their mouths, like myself, but have trouble with comprehension while communicating with others.
This is the part of autism that can cause severe depression and isolation. Imagine going out into the world where communication is not only a necessity, but the staple that connects you to others. Imagine someone starting a conversation with you. You want to interact with them so badly, but you do not have the full comprehension nor enough words in your vocabulary (or none at all) needed to keep that conversation flowing. You may even have excellent vocabulary, but limited comprehension.
This happens to me each day when I go to the fitness center or work. Don’t get me wrong; I do everything I can to engage in conversations. I love people, even those who despise me. It’s just that it does not get any easier no matter how hard I try.
What’s even harder?— The frustration that comes from neurotypical individuals.
It’s easy to detect frustration within those who have to clarify their communication for us. A part of me wants to say, “put yourself in our shoes. Imagine the words coming out of your mouth being comparable to hundreds of small puzzle pieces that have to be put together.”
It’s okay though: I understand that they don’t mean no harm, at least towards me.
I know this sounds very discouraging. Unfortunately, there is no way that I can make the challenges autistic people face sound like peaches and cream. Meanwhile, I know God did not put me in an uncomfortable situation to hurt me. He did it so that I can be the voice for others going through the same discomfort every day. Therefore, I cannot be angry with God.
So, I decided to let go of my isolation and enjoy the outside for as long as He wants me to. My hope is that affected individuals get inspired and decide to break themselves free from isolation, despite the discomfort that can ultimately follow.