An Unique Mind

  • Birthday Month

    February 8th, 2022

    Yep, February is my birthday month. I will be 34 in 23 days. I know that I’m not getting any younger (none of us are), but I am honestly much happier now than I was in my 20’s.

    My 20’s were years of searching for a purpose. Like, what can an autistic woman like myself offer to a world that is confusing to her? I had no answer. Knowing this, I switched my major countless times in college, searching for a purpose.
    I felt like I was on an long empty street. I thought to myself, ”This street has to lead me somewhere. Where am I going?”

    I kept walking down that empty street in hopes of getting an answer. Yes, I was getting tired, but my life’s purpose was out there somewhere.

    Then October 2021 came. After letting go of a toxic relationship, I realized that my purpose involved writing. Also, writing a book is part of that purpose. The desire to write a novel was there for almost a decade but I had no idea what message I wanted to put forth. Because of that, I pretty much put the calling aside and searched for another purpose.

    I continued on with life. I went to work and continued maintaining my household. Meanwhile, the book calling never went away. There are countless days where the thought was not there at all, but it would eventually turn on like a light switch without warning.

    Realizing that the thought of writing a book was not going away, I have decided to start my outline in January of 2022. I have no idea what I am doing. Also, I have never written a book before. Meanwhile, I will not allow those excuses to be obstacles and will cooperate with my love for writing. It’s something that never leave me.

    There’s a fictional story growing within me and will put it down in words as it comes. I don’t know where it will lead, but taking the chance is the best choice 🙂

    If I have learned anything, it’s this: Never ignore the calling within you, no matter what the reason is. You never know how many blessings you can miss by doing so.

  • Mission Discovered

    December 24th, 2021

    Good morning everyone! The holidays are passing by and I hope you all are enjoying them to the best of your ability.

    My writing journey is going so much better than I ever anticipated. Two months ago, I have made the decision to rejoin a writing community called Hope*Writers (Instagram: @hopewriters) and I am so glad I did. It’s definitely helping me take my writing more seriously and inspired me to begin journaling again.

    Speaking of writing, I had a thing happen on December 16 of this year: It was 4 PM EST. I had just gotten home from work and was in the process of taking a short break before cooking dinner. I decided to check my Instagram page for updates, likes, etc. I suddenly noticed that there was a message from a woman I will refer to as Sarah for confidentiality. Within her message, she told me that she’s been suspecting that she is on the Autism Spectrum for awhile, but was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. She preceded to discuss her symptoms during her childhood and adulthood. As I was reading over chats from her, I began comparing her experiences to mine. What I discovered was incredible. Our symptoms are so much alike. It was like looking at my own reflection in the mirror. Our communication style matched completely. I immediately suspected ASD as she and I were chatting. I did not inform her of my suspicions at that moment because I did not want to get ahead of myself. I shared my thoughts with her the following day.

    As far as the symptoms we share, Sarah and I…

    1. Suffer from depression and anxiety. Both mental health conditions are commonalities among autistic individuals.
    2. Experience repetitive behavior. This is the main sign of ASD. Repetitive behavior includes repeated movements with objects and limbs, as well as repeated questions and phrases.
    3. Both had IEP’s (Individual Education Plan) during our school years. This is a blueprint detailing Special Education support for special needs children and/or those needing extra help.
    4. Were both speech delayed. We both attended speech during our school years.
    5. Experience hypersensitivity. There are people with ASD who are overly sensitive to sound, touch, smell, sight and taste. Others experience hyposensitivity (having a harder time with stimulating senses than usual). Being easily startled or feeling the need to cover the ears when someone applauds you are examples of hypersensitivity. Turning up the TV higher than normal and an attraction to bright lights and colors are examples of hyposensitivity.

    I personally feel relieved to have spoken to Sarah. I thank the good Lord for our conversation. Speaking to her encouraged me to keep speaking out about ASD.

    Meanwhile, there are thousands of children and adults like Sarah around the world. There are those that have a hunch that they are autistic but do not have a clear diagnosis. Others simply feel out of place from their peers but have no clue why.

    I cannot imagine being in their shoes. This is when I realized that I discovered who my audience is. My message is not only for the diagnosed, but the undiagnosed as well. My hope is to encourage the diagnosed to be their authentic selves without masking their quirks. Also, I hope sharing my message will provide clues for the undiagnosed to the point where they decide ”okay, it’s time to go get an evaluation.”

    I know that sharing my message will not make ASD any easier to live with. I completely understand. I just feel called by our Heavenly Father to find a way to help those living with the disorder. The best way I know how is by writing it down continuously 🙂

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