An Unique Mind

Mission Discovered

December 24th, 2021
Good morning everyone! The holidays are passing by and I hope you all are enjoying them to the best of your ability.

My writing journey is going so much better than I ever anticipated. Two months ago, I have made the decision to rejoin a writing community called Hope*Writers (Instagram: @hopewriters) and I am so glad I did. It’s definitely helping me take my writing more seriously and inspired me to begin journaling again.

Speaking of writing, I had a thing happen on December 16 of this year: It was 4 PM EST. I had just gotten home from work and was in the process of taking a short break before cooking dinner. I decided to check my Instagram page for updates, likes, etc. I suddenly noticed that there was a message from a woman I will refer to as Sarah for confidentiality. Within her message, she told me that she’s been suspecting that she is on the Autism Spectrum for awhile, but was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. She preceded to discuss her symptoms during her childhood and adulthood. As I was reading over chats from her, I began comparing her experiences to mine. What I discovered was incredible. Our symptoms are so much alike. It was like looking at my own reflection in the mirror. Our communication style matched completely. I immediately suspected ASD as she and I were chatting. I did not inform her of my suspicions at that moment because I did not want to get ahead of myself. I shared my thoughts with her the following day.

As far as the symptoms we share, Sarah and I…
1. Suffer from depression and anxiety. Both mental health conditions are commonalities among autistic individuals.
2. Experience repetitive behavior. This is the main sign of ASD. Repetitive behavior includes repeated movements with objects and limbs, as well as repeated questions and phrases.
3. Both had IEP’s (Individual Education Plan) during our school years. This is a blueprint detailing Special Education support for special needs children and/or those needing extra help.
4. Were both speech delayed. We both attended speech during our school years.
5. Experience hypersensitivity. There are people with ASD who are overly sensitive to sound, touch, smell, sight and taste. Others experience hyposensitivity (having a harder time with stimulating senses than usual). Being easily startled or feeling the need to cover the ears when someone applauds you are examples of hypersensitivity. Turning up the TV higher than normal and an attraction to bright lights and colors are examples of hyposensitivity.
I personally feel relieved to have spoken to Sarah. I thank the good Lord for our conversation. Speaking to her encouraged me to keep speaking out about ASD.

Meanwhile, there are thousands of children and adults like Sarah around the world. There are those that have a hunch that they are autistic but do not have a clear diagnosis. Others simply feel out of place from their peers but have no clue why.

I cannot imagine being in their shoes. This is when I realized that I discovered who my audience is. My message is not only for the diagnosed, but the undiagnosed as well. My hope is to encourage the diagnosed to be their authentic selves without masking their quirks. Also, I hope sharing my message will provide clues for the undiagnosed to the point where they decide ”okay, it’s time to go get an evaluation.”

I know that sharing my message will not make ASD any easier to live with. I completely understand. I just feel called by our Heavenly Father to find a way to help those living with the disorder. The best way I know how is by writing it down continuously 🙂
SAD

November 20th, 2021

“But he said to me, ”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

Over the past three to four months, I have fallen in love with being outdoors. Doing routine walks outside really reaps its benefits. I even started going outside during lunch break. The more often I go outdoors, the more I crave the fresh air. As good as this sounds, I have been struggling with something for as long as I can remember. I have a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a form of depression that happens at the same time yearly. This is an enormous hurdle for me because I have been struggling with Major Depression for half of my life. My symptoms are moderate in the spring, summer and fall. In the winter however, a strong amount of agony overtakes me.

I have been receiving help since 2011. I was prescribed anti depressants and it’s going very well. It helps me move forward with my day and my thoughts of suicide have subsided. However, I still find myself feeling blue from time to time, especially around this time of year.

There is some good news: Going outside on nice sunny days can mitigate depressed mood. This is the number one reason why I enjoy the outdoors. Whenever I am outside and the sun hits my face, happy thoughts run through me. For example, one day I was departing a bus stop to go to the library. The temperature was in the mid 50’s, but the sun was out. As I was approaching the library, I was saying to myself, ”I feel like a butterfly.” Odd I know that, but it was the first thought that came.

I am sharing this because I know that there are millions of people out here struggling with SAD or Depression. I know that there are people who are feeling alone with this terrible mental illness. I know that from experience. My hope is to inspire one person out of the millions to get help first and foremost. The sunshine is an incredible bonus for those looking for a mood booster. Help is a necessity if it’s truly needed. You do not have to live as a hostage to your mental health. Fear is a common thing, but do not let it stand in your way. Time within the flesh is of the essence my friends. Psalm 27:1 NIV says, ” The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?

The journey to healing will take time and dedication, but it will be worthwhile!

“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he is delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19 NIV

Mission Discovered

SAD