An Unique Mind

Changes

November 13th, 2021
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.– Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Last Saturday morning at around 11AM, I was on my 2 mile walk. It was chilly (around 46 degrees). I’m a New Yorker. What can I say? 😉 Anyway, as I was finishing up my routine walk, I came across two trees with leaves that were fading. It truly felt like autumn. The colors were spectacular. I stopped and snapped photos with my IPhone. As I was taking pictures, the word ”changes” crossed my mind. I did not understand why. I’m thinking, ”leaves change colors every fall. Why was this word planted on my mind?” God definitely works in mysterious ways.

As the day progressed, I knew ”Changes” was the title of a new post. Dinner came, nothing interesting came to mind. 10PM is when I began to realize that changes were not only witnessed everywhere I turned, they were happening to me.
Don’t get me wrong: I am aware the people change all of the time. Life does that to us, especially nowadays. I’m saying that so many changes happened to me in such a short period of time. It feels like God did a complete takeover and transformed me to a woman who is growing more willing to take chances on life. Come to think of it, I have taking the chance of launching my blog. Best choice ever! My hope is to inspire people from all walks of life.

Downside: There are times where I do not adjust very well to change. It can be uncomfortable. It’s actually part of being on the autism spectrum. So being so relaxed with my transition is very new to me.

So much has changed over the past year, but I’m only going to discuss a few. They are the most important to me.

My Changes
1. New found happiness: Back in May of this year, I grew close to a man that was not good for me. Letting go was hard, but I knew I had to. I have decided to delete his number and never meet up with him again. It was heartbreaking, but it was the best decision I have ever made. A sense of self love, respect, and loyalty began to develop within me as time went by. As far as dating again, it’s going to take someone very special to convince me to take another chance. Romans 12: 9-10 NIV says ”Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Honor one another above yourselves.” I am now letting God take charge of this part of my life. He is to be trusted more than myself, especially when it comes to love.
2. New Job: I left my job at a retirement home for a job as a food service worker on Fort Bragg. My previous job’s work environment was very toxic (people wise and sanitation wise), short staffed, and only payed $8.50 an hour. The hours I worked were staggering. My mental health was beginning to take a beating. I knew that if I wanted to bring joy back to my life, I had to find a job with a healthier work environment. Philippians 4:19 NIV says ”And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” The job I’m currently have pays $12.45 hourly, has amazing people, and is much cleaner. The Lord is the Provider. It’s just up to us to go out there and make change happen when it’s time.
3. More Fit: I now have more time to get in shape. I do 2 mile walks twice a week and 20 minute weight training workouts 3 days a week. My mental health is doing much better (taking medications for that also) and my job performance has improved drastically.
4. Writing Again: This is the best and most important change to me. Writing is literally part of who I am. Without it, I would pop like a balloon. God put the gift of writing inside me when He created me. I was just oblivious to that. I thought nothing of it until I hit my 30’s. He blessed all of us with a gift. It can be carpentry. It can be entrepreneurship. It can be painting. We just have to go through this journey called life and discover what that gift is. Ephesians 2:10 NIV says, ” For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good work, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
2021 was not only quick, but quite a rollercoaster for all of us. The pandemic has not ended, but good things can still happen during dark times. If times like these taught me anything, it’s this: If you have to make a change anywhere in your life, now it’s the time to do so. Do not wait. Time in the flesh is of the essence and we must make the best of it while we’re in it. Christ did. We can do it too!
The Unstoppable Cycle

September 25th, 2021

Hello everyone! I just came back from a 2 mile walk, so I’m sweating up a storm! Other than that, everything is going well. I hope you are all doing well also. If not, remember that as long as you make it through the day, that’s the positive 🙂 Good days will come (God willing).

As far as this post, it was written last year. I’m reposting it because it remains true to this day. Fortunately, I have accepted the fact that this is part of me. It helped make me the woman I am today. It’s not easy to live with, but it’s worth the battle.

Here it goes:

Do you have a habit that is difficult to break? Are there aspects of your behavior that you’re trying your hardest to improve, but those behaviors creep up on you without realization? I know I do. The habit I’m referring to is stimming. Yep, Jessica and I both stim. Stimming is the repetitive movements, sounds, or words that occur in children and adults with autism. Examples of stimming include rocking back and forth, repetitive blinking, repeating words or phrases, even pulling hair. Believe it or not, neurotypical individuals stim as well 🙂. It’s just not as prevalent as it is in those on the autism spectrum.

Even though Jessica and I are identical twins, our stims are nothing alike. Jessica paces. I rock back and forth. We both repeat words and phrases. This sounds odd, but I spin around when I listen to music. Not sure why I do it, but it’s the gist of the whole post. I can tell you it gets the heart pumping 🙃, which is good. Lastly, I blink more often than most. At first, I thought it was because I’m near sighted. But, when I did research on reasons for excessive blinking, the autism spectrum was on the list. It made sense. The excessive blinking is the most uncomfortable stim I have. When it starts, it nearly impossible to stop.

I have to admit that there are times where I wished I was neurotypical: free of the autism spectrum. Why? Because communication and learning would be much easier. Also, the stimming wouldn’t be constant. Life would be easier basically. I know that I have stated that my disability is a blessing and not a curse. I still call it a blessing. It’s just that there are certain aspects in my behavior that I wish I can turn off like a light switch. The stims for example. There are days where I try my best to not stim, even when I’m alone. I’m pretty good at that when I’m at work. However, when I go to the restroom, they rush back. Stimming is easy for me to control, but impossible to stop completely.

As far as wishing to be neurotypical, I know that the best thing to do is to accept the way God made me. Knowing God makes no mistakes is a huge comfort. The stims will continue. The communication and learning deficits will be there until the day God calls me to His Kingdom. Therefore, the struggle of improving my communication skills continues. There will be days where I wish I was neurotypical because autism is a daily challenge. However, God’s sacrifice of His Son was a much bigger challenge (John 3:16). So, the best thing I can do is smile, put one foot in front of the other, and keep reminding myself that GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES.

“Society says I’m autistic. God says I’m perfect.”- Autism Parenting Magazine

An Unique Mind

Changes

The Unstoppable Cycle

Here it goes:

“Society says I’m autistic. God says I’m perfect.”- Autism Parenting Magazine