An Unique Mind

The Moments I Went Mute

September 18th, 2021

Hello loves! I hope you are all having a wonderful day.

This was written two years ago, but the memory still weighs on my heart. The good thing is that this weight has helped me become more accepting of my disability. Good things will come within difficult situations if we just add a glimmer of positivity into our mindsets.🙂

In case you’re wondering what the positive aspect is: it’s acceptance. It won’t be easy, but the journey is worth embarking on. It truly is.

Here it is:

There were times back in 2017 when something happened that was completely beyond my control. The restaurant business is not only grunt work, but extremely overwhelming for all who work in it. I once worked as a dining room attendant at PDQ in Sanford, Florida. That joint gets packed. I’m talking about the line circling the dining room. I’m talking about cars circling the drive way, waiting to order at the window. It’s that packed. And I was one of the two dining room attendants. Keeping that dining room tidy was a challenging task because so many come in and go.

So here’s the scary part. Due to working in a busy place, something happened. I had sensory meltdown, something beyond my control. My meltdowns lasted up to 5 minutes. And when I say sensory meltdown, I’m not talking about dropping to the floor kicking and screaming. I’m not talking about covering my eyes and ears. I’m talking about my brain going into overdrive, eyes watering up, and going mute. This happened twice. I rushed to the restroom both times to avoid getting noticed. When I hid in the bathroom stall, I attempted to speak. No words came out.

How did I feel? I felt helpless, confused, and terrified. I felt like a computer that has frozen. Overheating of a computer can cause it to freeze. In my case, the busy restaurant was the overheating. My brain was the computer. Going mute was the freezing. Similar to waiting for a computer to unfreeze, I had to hide in the bathroom stall until I was able to talk again.

Unfortunately, meltdowns are unpredictable. We don’t know if or when they will come. However, the autistic individual can feel it coming early on. The first sign for me is being on the verge of tears. Since the two incidents, I began keeping water with me to relax myself. It works wonders! I’m able to get through countless workdays without incident. I’m still in the restaurant business as well 😉 I’m just got offered a job as a server.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get overwhelmed. I mean, who doesn’t? The restaurant business ain’t no joke! All I’m saying is that God would never put us in situations that we cannot handle. Being an autie in the workplace will not be an easy journey, but will be worth the rewards that will be reaped. The reward: besides getting paid, being out there in the world with everyone else.

I know sensory overload will be a lifelong struggle, but I cannot let that deter me. I’m longing to meet new people and visit new places. If meltdowns come along, I’ll just go to a quiet place until I’m calm and go back to where I was. Life is hard, but it can be beautiful.
About Me

September 13th, 2021

What’s going on world? I’m Veronica: a 33 year old (high functioning) autistic woman located in Fayetteville, North Carolina. I’m currently a food service worker on Fort Bragg, the largest military base in the United States. It’s pretty awesome to work with a bunch of soldiers. They come from all over the world. Some are nice, some are not so nice. They are human after all 🙂 I even met one from Africa! So amazing! Looking forward to meeting more!

As far as my living situation, I currently live alone just 10 minutes away from Fort Bragg and enjoy every second of it. It’s probably the best living situation to be in at this point due to the pandemic. Yes, I have been fully vaccinated, but still wear my mask whenever I’m in public. This COVID 19 situation is no joke!

Family: cannot imagine my life without them. I have a twin sister named Jessica (also autistic), a younger sister named Moët, a younger brother named Leiquan, and an older brother named William. My mother Denise is the mold that keeps us together. The family dog Cooper lives with my mother, younger sister and twin sister. The rest of us are living independent lives. None of us have children at the moment.

Other than writing, I absolutely love makeup! It’s art to me. It makes me feel sparkly throughout my day, even on days that aren’t good. It’s fun to be able to create different looks. It’s like wearing a different outfit each day. Any store that has a makeup aisle, I’m there! Ulta, Walmart, CVS, Sephora, MAC, even Dollor Tree. Love it, love it, love it! Okay I’m done LOL 😂

My blogging experience: I began this blog about 2 years ago. At the time I was experimenting with different topics in an effort to find a niche that’s my forte. The only niche that keeps coming back to me is optimism. To be more specific: I’m talking about optimism about life as an autistic woman. In my heart, I know that everything is going to be alright, despite living in a body that is difficult for anybody to control; let alone comprehend.

Yes there will be difficult days, but light will still remain at the end of the tunnel. That is what drove me to have my blog focus on the optimistic side of me 🙂 I look forward to posting and hope to inspire many!

The Moments I Went Mute

Hello loves! I hope you are all having a wonderful day.

This was written two years ago, but the memory still weighs on my heart. The good thing is that this weight has helped me become more accepting of my disability. Good things will come within difficult situations if we just add a glimmer of positivity into our mindsets.🙂

In case you’re wondering what the positive aspect is: it’s acceptance. It won’t be easy, but the journey is worth embarking on. It truly is.

Here it is:

I know sensory overload will be a lifelong struggle, but I cannot let that deter me. I’m longing to meet new people and visit new places. If meltdowns come along, I’ll just go to a quiet place until I’m calm and go back to where I was. Life is hard, but it can be beautiful.

About Me